What do expats in Spain miss most about home? This question has been on my mind lately as it seems to pop up more and more amongst friends who have moved out of the States and now live abroad. Wanderlust aside, the day to day living sometimes means lamenting what one had.
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Nostalgia creeps in time and again. I decided to do an informal survey to see what expats in Spain, both new and old, found missing in their new homes. It was reassuring to find that a couple of things were universal. One hundred percent across the board. Read on to find out the seven most often missed things by Expats, plus a bonus reason or two.
What expats in Spain miss most about home:
Good customer service:
This was hands down the number one thing missed by expats in Spain, me included. Long time readers of the blog know that it’s a continuous struggle with Federico almost on a daily basis (it’s getting better slowly). Also notice l did not say “great”. We would settle for good!. Going to a store or bank requires a mental preparation for battle. Prepare to be ignored.
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Your blood pressure rises as you watch the “salesperson” finish their personal phone call or have a conversation with a visiting friend. No acknowledgement whatsoever, and when they finally approach, it’s as if nothing happened, no apologies. Behaviour like this that would have had you screaming for the manager in the States and would have probably ended with someone getting fired.
I do think we overdo it in the States though. A little breathing room is nice, but you rarely get that. You walk into a store and immediately, the salespeople swoop in, watching you and hoping to make their commission. This can also leave you frustrated as you rarely get the chance to shop in peace and have to be curt or worse, leave the store without purchasing because you don’t want to deal with it. If you do happen to find something to purchase, well you can see what happens 🙂 . Can you blame us for shopping online more? There has to be a happy medium somewhere.
Spices and Salad Dressing:
This was somewhat of a surprise to me. There is only one thing l miss as far as spices are concerned. Lawry’s seasoned salt. I used to add it to everything from potatoes to pork ribs. It is not available here though and l miss that a lot. So.. I am putting it out there in the universe, if you come visit, bring Lawry’s. Salad dressing is just crap here. period. We have friends who just returned from a U.S. visit. Guess what was in their bags? loads and loads of hot pepper sauce. What is considered hot sauce here is at best mild there.
Hearing English being spoken:
This was almost universally missed. Having lived in three cities in Spain now, I can attest to the fact that unless you’re in the very center of the city, the chances of hearing English spoken are very slim.
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If you don’t speak the local language, this can be very hard. I think that is one of the reasons expats usually move to expat enclaves. I find part of the fun is trying to make myself understood. There is a lot of miming in my life when Federico is not around to help me translate. I often wonder though if the same people who miss that would be the same people complaining about other people not speaking English back in the States. I hope not!.
24 hour shopping:
I had no idea so many people shopped at all hours. I admit it was comforting knowing that there are 24 hour pharmacies, grocery stores etc. in the States. I personally never utilized them, even though my shift at the pharmacy ended at midnight and sometimes 2am depending on the rotation. (it was a 24hr store).I didn’t even know that going to Walmart during the night was a thing. In Spain, store hours are vastly different. Most stores open from 10am and close for siesta at 2pm. They open back up at 5pm and stay open up until about 9pm.
The big department stores and malls mostly stay open all the way through. Sundays, everything is closed (except for summer when they open from 12pm – 6pm). I rather like not having everything at your fingertips all the time. It makes you a better planner. For instance, we know we need to shop on Saturdays so we have something for Sunday. Part of the reason people shop mindlessly and wastefully l think is the convenience factor.
Related Reading: Valencia Life Update
Family and Friends:
Silly me! I had assumed that this would be the number one thing that would get mentioned. It’s almost an afterthought for some people. I think people move to faraway places to get away from toxic environments. I still always quote something l read a long time back – “you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family” :-). Nowadays, the political landscape has further torn families apart, sometimes irreparably. I’ve heard quotes like “she is dead to me”, rash but understandable sometimes.
It’s pretty sad that the words and actions of one man has managed to upset the apple cart so much. This despicable man has emboldened the scum of the earth to raise their ugly heads and take center stage. Sad but true. I wonder how long before we can begin to heal, assuming we ever get to that point because it seems we are sliding down at a fast clip.
American Holidays are sorely missed by expats in Valencia:
This was expected. I myself miss celebrating Thanksgiving Day with my friends a lot. Most of us were immigrants in the U.S and we always celebrated together, turkey, stuffing, the whole nine yards. Here the holidays are many and very Catholic centric. I swear every Saint has a holiday and it’s not unusual for us to go shopping for groceries and discovering that the place is closed for yet another holiday :-). I have a small confession to make – I am getting tired of seeing somber processions. They need a happy Saint day.
Fast food and Delis:
I’ve had quite a few people lament the lack of delis especially. Bagels seem to be missed a whole lot. In the center of most cities, Valencia for instance, you can find familiar fast food chains like Burger King, McDonald’s, and KFC. Someone recently mentioned the impending arrival of Carl’s Jr. Sandwiches here are quite dry. A tuna and egg sandwich for instance will only contain just those two things, no mayonnaise or mustard. Meh!
Overall thoughts on what immigrants in Valencia miss most about home:
These are of course just a few of the things most expats in Spain miss most about their former homes. What l find is that most people take all these things in stride. You can’t except things to be the same as at home. What’s the fun in that if it is? Life as an immigrant is an adventure and most embrace it all fully. That being said, we have had two couples that we met in the past move back home because they were unable to handle the differences, but you have to give them props for trying. If you’re ready to start your expat journey, make sure to purchase our eBook for guidance.
The last thing that was often mentioned was missing cleaner streets. I am thinking l should have mentioned that as one of the 17 reasons not to come to Valencia!. A lot of people walk their dogs and do not clean up the mess, leaving unsightly messes on the sidewalks. In the States, you rarely see this as people either pick it up or are confronted by strangers. A young friend also hates the fact that they dole out homework here for the weekend, something his teachers didn’t do back in the States (he wanted to make sure l mentioned it 🙂 ).
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Are you an Expat? If so, do you have anything to add to the list of what expats miss most about home? Are you adventurous enough to pack up and move to another state of country?
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I really enjoyed this post! I just met a woman whose uncle moved to Valencia from NYC for it’s affordable lifestyle and is loving it.
Thanks for also sharing that some move far away to escape a toxic environment and about the man who is making it more toxic. These are some of the reasons that my husband & I are ready to leave.
Thanks so much for reading Wendy and l’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s insane how fast everything has gone to pot in just a few years, thank to the man whose name l never say. Valencia is a real find and we are just grateful that we found this city on our third try :-). I don’t blame you at all for wanting to put some distance between you and toxic situations.
As in Harry Potter: He who shall not be named.{;-)
That is a big reason we started over 2 years ago to maneuver things so we could leave. And, it is just time for another life adventure.
FWIW, I recall that with only ONE city exception, the food in Spain is mainly plain. And not exceptionally good. (It wasn’t just me- my employees who don’t keep kosher were more emphatic than I was…) And, I agree with these other things that just can’t suffice in Spain
Haha! I can just picture all the employees complaining about missing their favorite foods. I must admit that l don’t miss the food as much over there because we ate in a lot because Federico loves cooking. The one thing that l miss without a doubt are big grande margaritas. There is just no comparison and l keep checking every country we visit. I miss Mexican food but l have found some that are good, but the variety is not there. I wonder what city was the exception? 🙂
I find the food in restaurants in Valencia is usually far too salty for my taste. I don’t usually drink alcohol so have soft drinks or soda. There is a woeful lack of soda and flaours here! Coke, Kas and sometimes 7UP! That’s your lot! I have just returned from working in Scotland and indulged myself with Elderflower, Ginger Beer, Rhubarb cordial, Lime sodas, Cherry sodas, Mint sodas – the list goes on and on…
Oh poor Mike! I do agree with you though, Spanish food, from paella to damon is very salty but like l said below, we don’t eat out often and when we do, it’s for different cuisine and you know the only rule for the foodies group is anything but tapas because you can get that everywhere. I never thought much about the selection of drinks either, as l am the boring kind.. water, tinto, beer or wine..all things readily available. Wow! I don’t think we that exotic selection either in the U.S save for Cherry soda maybe, and Ginger Beer. I hope you had your fill for a while..because it’s back to the same old same old :-). Thanks for the comment.
Kemkem, so interesting to hear about what people miss. My younger sister has recently moved to the UK, she really misses her friends and family. She finds the British quite cold. I can totally agree with the dog poo problem on the streets in Valencia. We saw an elderly lady slip on a dog poo there. We helped her get cleaned up. Probably the only negative of travelling to Valencia. But this is a problem in other Spanish cities and some Portuguese cities also. Really enjoyed your post 🙂
Ha! I think it is really hard to move someplace new and try and meet people. I know Brits do seem pretty cold and no one looks anyone else in the ye while in the U.S you are so used to saying hello to people and smiling, something l still do here and l get ignored a lot still, but can’t help myself :-). I remember visiting Paris before we moved here and hating the dog poo everywhere, it’s a European thing l guess. How it must have sucked for that poor woman! Thanks for reading :-).
Loved this post Kemi, as I was recently thinking about things I miss from the US and, over the last few months especially, what *home* means to me. My recent trip to the US in April (New Jersey, Georgia and Texas) was a real awakening to the fact that there’s nowhere in the US that feels like home anymore after almost 7 years as an expat. My return to Portugal was a true homecoming in every sense of the word and it felt good to be welcomed back by people who have become like family and missed me. For me, home isn’t so much a place as it is the people you surround yourself with. As for things I miss (surprisingly not much!) my recent membership to the Costco in Seville has helped fill in the gap with some of the foods I’ve missed. You can even buy canned pumpkin, American-style bacon, salad dressings and chocolate chips there, LOL! For me (and I’m sure you agree) the trade-offs of living in a foreign country are far more valuable than remaining in a life that felt routine and stagnant (what a relief to ditch the white lab coat!) and constant exposure to different languages and foods makes my life far more richer. P.S. What do you say to a meet up at Costco? 😁 Anita
I remember when we lived in Seville and passing by the Costco on the way to the airport. We never shopped there because really, there are very few things l miss from there, and you have to get such huge quantities. I would be curious at to which brands of salad dressing they have. As you know Federico loves cooking so our diet is mostly seafood and Italian, so nothing changed from when we were still in the States.
You’re right, home is where good things happen and your life is good, not really where you grew up. We felt this already the first time we went back home, there was enough of a culture shock and the feeling that we no longer belonged, at least not in Houston. L.A still felt a bit homey, but you’re right, I am so happy the lab coat got ditched. Nowadays l don’t want to hear about pharmacy :-).
Come on down!!! It would be lovely to see you..make it so..number 1 🙂
Hi Kemmi, I don’t think I could do it. After just a few weeks in Europe, we start to miss the conveniences and familiarity of home. My life here is wonderful, and I guess I am somewhat sheltered from the division that is happening here. I don’t listen to cable news and I never talk politics, even though I have friends from all walks of life and different political affiliations.I learned the hard way to avoid those conversations. However, my head is not in the sand, and I educate myself regarding issues and vote. My life and comfort have not been affected as others’ have been and I realize how fortunate I am.
As to the language thing; I just spent a few days in Miami. While I was there I went to a nail salon for a pedicure. The hostess spoke Spanish, and all of the technicians spoke either Spanish or Vietnamese. It was hard for me to communicate with my nail tech. I have to admit that I do resent it just a bit that English is no longer the first language in parts of the US. But, as you said, Expats settle in enclaves, which is exactly what emigrants do here. Surrounded by people speaking a familiar language, they have no need to learn English. I hope you will work hard at learning Spanish. I think your life will be richer for it.
Things I would miss – potato chips, mega watt hair dryers (mine would cause a power outage for blocks in most foreign countries), big washing machines, wide streets, and hot dogs!
Haha! I actually read the comment from the bottom up because the hair dryer mega watt caught my eye and l couldn’t stop cracking up because for some reason l was picturing like Grease hair teased high. Yeah, you would definitely cause power outages. We couldn’t have a heater and stovetop on for instance as it caused one. I have friends who shipped their washing machines and driers and had it fitted somehow so it is possible.
I have been trying so hard to speak Spanish and l swear it goes from day to day. I understand so much more, but speaking it, l still freeze, everything runs out of my head, then some days l speak with no problem. I can’t wait to be more fluent. Every time l have a little success, I can’t wait to run back and tell Fede. It certainly isn’t for a lack of trying, thanks to my extremely social dog who has to stop and look at every passerby and dog! It is really hard when you can’t understand things, so l can imagine how you must have felt at the nail shop. Some of my friends parents don’t speak any English at all after over 50 years in L.A.
I keep politics out of my conversations too. It is so not worth getting upset and l find people are stubborn and once they have a position, they are deeply entrenched in it no matter what. Life is too short but we do the best we can and vote from abroad.
I can’t believe you were missing home after just four weeks…BWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH :-).
I admit it, I’m a wussy! I set off the fire alarm in a Paris apartment just trying to make toast 🙂 We smashed the side mirror of a police car in Italy trying to drive down a street. And, we have been known to go around a roundabout at least 4 times before we can translate the correct direction. Yep, I love traveling but there is no place like home. Glad you are working on your Spanish. Take care.
You crack me up :-)! I’m sure the neighbors were thrilled at the fire drill in Paris. At least the mishaps give you stories to tell. I feel you on the roundabout thing..haha! They are very confusing.
I loved reading this article, as it pretty much sums up the fact that when one loves to travel or even move to a different country, there’s no place like home 🙂 We also find that we start missing little things during our longer trips outside the country.
But I can totally understand those missing 24 hour shopping. During our stay in Valencia, I missed even the regular 8 hour shopping, hahaha. It seemed that the people there were always on a break, siestas, opening late and closing early. That was really strange for us :))
However, looking at the list, I would say that they’re not really deal breakers and one can live with missing some things, while getting some new stuff to enjoy – things that they wouldn’t back home. Win some, lose some :))
Haha! I remember you mentioning that when you were in Valencia – how stores were shut at weird hours. I think l must just be getting used to it some but l can understand how it can be frustrating at first. It does indeed seem like they are always on a break, especially cigarette breaks. I always wonder if the company pays for those.
Nope, they are certainly no deal breakers for most people, especially the ones that do their homework, but l gotta tell you, it is amazing the number of people who don’t and then come here and complain about things not being the same. I always find that amazing and such a leap of faith that comes to bite them in the butt because the information is purely from the magazines that sell them the U.S. life for less. You win some, you lose some indeed :-).
Nice food for thought. Family and friends for us, more English, comfort food, available movies
Yeah, more English would be very nice…haha! Netflix and Amazon Prime make things a bit easier here and the fact that the shows can mostly be seen in original language is a bonus, something l missed dearly in Malta.
Interesting insights–I enjoyed reading from an expat’s perspective. I loved all the food we had in Spain, even the sandwiches at the rest stops along the highway, but I agree with you that everything tastes better with Lawry’s Seasoned Salt!
Oh my, you are squarely on Federico’s side with the sandwiches.. haha! He is used to the dry because that’s how they eat them in Italy as well. I need it wet so to speak, complete with mayo and mustard and ketchup etc. :-). Haha!!! Thank God you redeemed yourself with the Lawry’s. Thanks for reading.
I’ve never lived in another country, so I found this article to be an interesting read. And, preferring to leave it for just a few weeks at a time, I do believe “there is no place like home.”
I guess for me having lived in so many places, home is more of a moving target and l’ve been lucky because for some reason, I never look back so it’s easier to adapt. I can understand that sentiment though about being no place like home because once l call a place home, I miss it when away.
I’m sure it’s challenging to live in a different country. I’m surprised about the salad dressings. Would have thought they would have good dressings. Not surprised about the drug stores. When I was in Amsterdam a few years ago I was so disappointed that I could not buy Tylenol. Now I always bring a bottle when I travel internationally.
I also thought the salad dressing would be plentiful, but was disappointed. My day job was as a pharmacist and l was so glad they never got around to putting Tylenol behind the counter, we had enough with the stupid ephedrine crap :-). You need a loan here to afford aspirin..haha! they are very expensive (OTC medications) because the prescription items are regulated so the only way to cash in so to speak is to charge higher prices on over the counter stuff. Yep! great idea to bring your own. Thanks for the comment.
What a great thoughtful post, it kind of brought a lump to my throat. I’m an expat in the UK & definitely miss year round warm weather, fresh authentic Nigerian food & real sense of belonging. In the future we hope to spend the winter months there.
Everyone seemed helpful when we visited Barcelona but customer service here in the UK can be a mixed bag, from terrible to fantastic. Some stores open till midnight here, I never go that late but I agree it’s reassuring.
Sometimes it hits you hard doesn’t it? I can understand you missing the weather considering how sucky it is in the UK most of the year..haha! Your plan to spend winter at home sounds great. I’ve never understood going out so late to shop unless needed badly or working late shifts. We tend to do the grocery shopping during siesta time over here because it’s so much quieter and quicker. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Langauge can be an issue.My Spanish is marginal. (In Spanish speaking countries, fortunately, my husband is fluent.) But even less is my Tagalog, Farsi, Chinese, Chamorro, and even French. Lack of English speakers around and that camaraderie is a problem. But if their main interest is complaining about their hosting country we have no interest in them. If they are into griping I strongly suggest they try a different country, or Yankee, go home.
We have lived in several countries where we did not speak the language. We frequently find ourselves in the position of being tutors because the locals want to practice their English with us! That is great fun. We have found good friends that way.
Experiencing and learning new foods is great fun. I try to find some little granny and make friends so she can teach me how to cook her favorite things. Great fun, good food, and I learn a lot of very useful language.
Mostly missed is that things work in the States. I really like to have water when I open a tap; electricity when I turn on a switch. That is not the case in many other countries. That can wear on the nerves after a few months.
What do I miss from living overseas?
Not having to drive (cannot afford taxis/Uber/Lyft/etc.).
Never having to clean house/mow lawn (ditto for a maid and/or gardener).
Fresh food markets (with actual FRESH food daily (no something harvested green and shipped in.)
People (learning about local people, customs, language, and definitely new foods–to eat and to learn to cook.)
Oh, and wines without chemical additives giving them a gazillion year shelf-life is nice too.
These are a few of my most missed things. (Hmm, that could almost be a song title 🙂
It is funny the differences in people and what they like or miss. As a youngster I spent time in Valencia, and know the city better than my hometown in The Netherlands. Would move back in a jiffy, (now living in the US), loved the fact that there is no 24/7 culture. That not many people speak English was fine with me. I missed certain foods but on the other hand with fresh fish and produce galore, I just love the Mediterranean kitchen.
Also nice socialized medicine, and even with a few waiting lists still a very up to date and great affordable health care system. Maybe that is easier for me since I still have my Dutch (European) citizenship. So medicine is also cheaper, plus most pharmacists do not mind to put it on your friend’s card, yeah I know, not the right way but once you establish a certain report… it helps.
It is definitely a slower pace of life in certain aspects: civil servants, construction companies who can turn up unexpectedly weeks after they were supposed to show up. A lot has changed over the past 30 years, but some things remain. There are such marginal issues like salad dressings… who needs more than olive oil and vinegar/lemon? In the US at first I was struck by so many choices of everything, it took me forever those first few weeks to grocery shop. And to find stuff that didn’t have many unhealthy ingredients (sugar in everything f.i.). Love the hassle in the covered market halls like Cabanyal. In the end when you come there more often and people start to know you it is very homely. It all depends on where one feels most comfortable, right?
By the way, the comment that you cannot buy Tylenol in Amsterdam, it just has a different name but same ingredients: paracetamol.
I absolutely enjoyed reading your comment, so thank you for that. It is so cool to know that Valencia has retained its charm, and hasn’t changed that drastically. I know with more and more people moving here, it can seem like we are headed the way of cities like Barcelona and Prague, and l am glad so far, it hasn’t been affected.
A lot of people still don’t speak English, at least in my barrio which is mostly locals and that has made me step up my Spanish lessons. Health care is definitely top-notch, and very affordable too. I am planning on doing a youtube video on how much we pay. It’s insane how much lower than the U.S. We are loving it, and have tried three different companies so far and all good. My prescriptions also cost much less. My brand name med costs less than my copay back in L.A.
I like the slower pace of life. I have had way too many years of the race. I was missing blue cheese dressing for my chicken wings and carrots and then finally looked it up, and now make an absolutely wonderful one. I just wish they had margarita mix. I love the bakery items here because they have less sugar and are made fresh for the most part.
Thanks for chiming in on this. I really appreciate it :-).