17 reasons not to visit Valencia . Malvarrosa beach with shack and sand.

On an almost weekly basis, I find yet another article mentioning Valencia Spain as a destination for a variety of reasons. This is my tongue firmly in cheek response to this gem of a city. I realise l am losing my battle to keep it a secret, therefore l am going to give you at least 17 reasons why visiting Valencia is a bad decision. Visit Valencia at your peril. You have been warned.

17 reasons not to visit Valencia Spain:

I’m sure there are a lot more than the reasons listed here, but l hope this will be enough to convince you not to make plans for a holiday in Valencia. Now that summer time is upon us, you should make plans to go to the same old places. Familiarity is a good thing. In fact, there are other places like Benidorm and Malaga to consider. I hear Alicante is also very welcoming and might be a better option and they mostly speak English there. No? Okay then, Let’s get it started.

1. Valencia is the ugly stepsister to Barcelona and Madrid etc..

2. The locals in Valencia are pretty gnarly looking. 

Reasons not to visit Valencia include ugly people.

Yep! They are all toothless and a minimum age of 79 is required in the city of Valencia. All others are banished to the campos.

3. There is absolutely nothing to see in Valencia.

City of arts and sciences Valencia Spain Opera house and hemispheric one of the 17 reasons not to visit Valencia

Opera House and Hemispheric in the City of Arts and Sciences.

4. There is no Religion in Valencia. Heathens everywhere.

Plaza de la Virgen with the Valencia Cathedral don't visit Valencia for its beauty

Valencia Cathedral, home of the “Holy Grail” chalice. Others may claim to have it, but the one here has the strongest case for possession.

 

 

5. The beach is absolutely horrifying, a disgraceful mess.

bad things about Valencia Spain

Malvarrosa Beach Valencia. The calm before the storm of tourists.

 

Malvarrosa Beach sidewalk Valencia and girl dipping her toes in

How can anyone enjoy such a horrible place? Look how painfully unhappy she looks!

 

6. Architecture in Valencia is simply hideous.

plaza ayutamento Valencia

Plaza Ayutamiento Valencia. Notice the decrepit buildings! Yuck! Move before they all come tumbling down on you.

 

7. No major cultural events whatsoever happens in Valencia.

Festival in Valencia

Another crap day in Valencia Spain, another celebration.

 

Look at them run away from Valencia. I understand some are still running! Who can blame them?

8. The city of Valencia is absolutely stifling, no green space!

Turia park with water and trees Valencia Spain

Part of the 11 kilometre Turia park that runs through the city of Valencia.

9. Nothing happens at night. Everyone is asleep by 10pm.

Berklee night

Image source: Valencia Turismo of Berklee

10. Valencia is not hip at all.

street art in old town

Street art in Old Town Centre.

 

street art in Valencia

Nothing but dirty graffiti. In fact, In fact, I urge you not to take the free graffiti tour of Valencia.

11. They have no idea how to enjoy life, a good reason not to visit Valencia.

Fallas 2019 Valencia Spain

Fallas 2019 . One of the category winners. Read all about Fallas yearly celebration on this post

12. The Valencia CF football team is the worst in Spain. Absolute rubbish!

                   COPA DEL REY FINAL. THE SPANISH NATIONAL CUP CHAMPIONS

13. There is no diversity in Valencia.

 

Food in Valencia sucks!

Food is a  great part of travel and living in any place. There are plenty of reasons not to consider living or even visiting Valencia. Off the top of my head when it comes to food:

14. No original dishes come from Valencia – nothing at all to call their own! 

another reason not to visit Valencia Spain is the horrible Paella Valenciano

Authentic Paella Valenciana prepared by a local. Oh..the horror! Find out how it’s made on this previous post.

 

Horchata Valenciana hails from Valencia Spain

A popular drink from Valencia is horchata, a sweet drink derived from tiger-nuts. Image source

15. It’s jamon, all day, every day. No variety to speak of

sushi with salmon plates

Looks very much like ham does it not? Notice the prices for full bottles of wine. Ridiculous!

16. No fresh food anywhere and it’s expensive!

Mercado central fruit stall with woman shopper Valencia Spain

Mercat Central Valencia – the largest in Spain with over 1,000 stalls full of fresh meat and fruit etc..

17. The people living in Valencia are miserable

collection of pictures of people in Valencia - reason number 13 not to visit Valencia

Look how miserable everyone is! Save yourself!!!

 

pictures of people smiling and meat on skewer

The food tastes like rope. Trust me when l say he is crying on the inside. Tears of clown.

 

3 women at table smiling, more reasons not to visit Valencia

The suffering continues but they hide it well.


men and women and kids at table waving Valencia Spain having fun, another of the reasons not to visit Valencia

Another day, another get together. Among this lot, we have local Valencian, Latinos, Brits, Bulgarians and Americans.

Our suffering is great and we can only hope that we can spare innocent people our horrible fates. Truth be told, we are actually mostly staying out of defiance

Related Reading: Buying in Valencia

 Related:  Remodel Results

Bonus reason not to visit Valencia:

Valencia is dangerous! You can’t go out at night. We live in fear behind closed doors.

The quality of life in Valencia is horrible l tell you. My advice to you is to keep on visiting Barcelona, Madrid and Seville. Do not, under any circumstance, consider a Valencia visit as you will surely be disappointed. In fact, we, and lots of others are staying here out of defiance as you can see. We curse the day we heard of Valencia as a great place to live.

17 Reasons not to visit Valencia Spain #valencia #spain #spainguide #lifespain #visitvalencia

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Have you been to Valencia? What do you think of these 17 reasons not to visit Valencia? Do you agree with me that it is a place that must be avoided at all costs? Or are you one of the defiant ones?