It’s not quite the blog post one expects to see on Christmas day, but there you have it. I was jolted out of a deep sleep a couple of nights ago and had a hard time going back to sleep. The older l get, the less sleep l seem to need and the more l realize that life is pretty precious. While some things worry me more than others, there are three fears that keep me up at night.
3 Big Worrying Fears:
I think this is a big one for a lot of people, especially older ones. When l was young, death was hardly in my thoughts. As the years piled on, it resided somewhere in the back of my mind. When my father died 21 years ago, it was horrible, but l was happy that l had him for a few years and he was much older than me even though he still died young my book (72). My sister’s death though really pushed death to the forefront. It made me realize just how near death is all the time. She was young, just two years older than me when she lost her battle with cancer. This rejuvenated the path that we had almost abandoned, early retirement. We wanted to enjoy life more and work less. It has however made me more fearful of losing a loved one. It’s one reason why l hate the phone. It always seems to bring bad news. I use my phone to play Scrabble and Words. It is rarely charged and half the time, l can’t even find it. In my warped mind, if l don’t answer it, the the bad news doesn’t come. I didn’t say it was rational ;-) . Federico snores when he sleeps for the most part, and somehow l fall asleep to the rhythm. Sometimes though, he is quiet as a mouse. That’s when the fear grips me. Poor thing, l end up prodding him just a bit till he moves or responds ;-) . On future posts, l will write about our recent visit with my family in Nigeria. We spent the past three weeks there and celebrated my mother’s 90th birthday. Seven of her eight kids were there and l really wished my late sister could have been there too.
So many horrible things are happening in the world right now. Terrorist attacks have almost become normal. Just recently, people lost their lives to a cowardly attack in Berlin. Suicide bombings in Iraq, Yemen, Istanbul among others. The situation in Aleppo is not letting up. Boko Haram still operates freely in Northern Nigeria. Putin seems to have a special agenda for the world, not to mention that little tyrant in North Korea. Thailand recently lost its beloved King Bhuminol and after the one year mourning period is over, l wonder what will happen. The son is definitely not beloved like the father. The Philippines president seems capable of just about anything :-( . The latest U.S election seems to have brought out the worst of its people. I fear for the state of the world. Things seem to be escalating on a grand scale. Every day seems to bring more bad news. I feel like we are headed to something ominous. I worry about the absolute evil that men are capable of. I still won’t let fear stop me from traveling.
I thank God daily for our fairly good health. I have the trifecta of ill health, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes and borderline High Cholesterol. I take the usual precautions, some exercise and my prescribed medication. I also eat oats and grains for breakfast to keep the cholesterol down. I could be better, but once again, l choose my poison :-) . We have all heard so many stories of people putting off living their lives till retirement only to drop dead when the time comes. I worry about developing some horrible, incurable disease that will prevent me from further travel. This is not as big a fear as the top two, but it’s still there.
What l really find amazing is that l would have pictured myself being worried about fluff stuff. Some of my friends worry about getting older (bring it on l say!), gray hair (bah! I didn’t even color mine in Nigeria even though it would have cost less than $3 :-) ) or losing weight (really!). I guess we all need to pick our poison. I choose wonderful food and a little extra padding :-) ;-) :-) .
Despite all this, I don’t want you reading this and thinking that l am depressed or morbid :-) . No, I am not. I just think that while we are celebrating the holidays, we should keep in mind the rest of the world where there is much sadness instead of happiness. Tears of pain instead of tears of joy. Death instead of Life.
Happy Holidays to everyone! We hope you all have a wonderful and loving one. We are still a bit tired from the recent travel and haven’t gone to Seville to see the Christmas decorations like we did last year. We thank you for being loyal readers of the blog. The next post will be a roundup of our year and our hopeful travel plans for next year. Tonight, we will watch one of our favorite holiday movies and have some Bailey’s :-) .
What are some of the fears that keep you up at night?