3 Big Worrying Fears That Make Me Restless

It’s not quite the blog post one expects to see on Christmas day, but there you have it. I was jolted out of a deep sleep a couple of nights ago and had a hard time going back to sleep. The older l get, the less sleep l seem to need and the more l realize that life is pretty precious. While some things worry me more than others, there are three fears that keep me up at night.

3 Big Worrying Fears:

Death:

3 big worrying fears sunset in stockholm
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A beautiful sunset in Stockholm.

I think this is a big one for a lot of people, especially older ones. When l was young, death was hardly in my thoughts. As the years piled on, it resided somewhere in the back of my mind. When my father died 21 years ago, it was horrible, but l was happy that l had him for a few years and he was much older than me even though he still died young my book (72). My sister’s death though really pushed death to the forefront. It made me realize just how near death is all the time. She was young, just two years older than me when she lost her battle with cancer. This rejuvenated the path that we had almost abandoned, early retirement. We wanted to enjoy life more and work less. It has however made me more fearful of losing a loved one. It’s one reason why l hate the phone. It always seems to bring bad news. I use my phone to play Scrabble and Words. It is rarely charged and half the time, l can’t even find it. In my  warped mind, if l don’t answer it, the the bad news doesn’t come. I didn’t say it was rational 😉 . Federico snores when he sleeps for the most part, and somehow l fall asleep to the rhythm.  Sometimes though, he is quiet as a mouse. That’s when the fear grips me. Poor thing, l end up prodding him just a bit till he moves or responds 😉 . On future posts, l will write about our recent visit with my family in Nigeria. We spent the past three weeks there and celebrated my mother’s 90th birthday. Seven of her eight kids were there and l really wished my late sister could have been there too.

World Peace:

3 big worrying fears hagia sophia
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The Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, one of our favorite destinations.

So many horrible things are happening in the world right now. Terrorist attacks have almost become normal. Just recently, people lost their lives to a cowardly attack in Berlin. Suicide bombings in Iraq, Yemen, Istanbul among others. The situation in Aleppo is not letting up. Boko Haram still operates freely in Northern Nigeria. Putin seems to have a special agenda for the world, not to mention that little tyrant in North Korea. Thailand recently lost its beloved King Bhuminol and after the one year mourning period is over, l wonder what will happen. The son is definitely not beloved like the father. The Philippines president seems capable of just about anything 🙁 . The latest U.S election seems to have brought out the worst of its people. I fear for the state of the world.  Things seem to be escalating on a grand scale. Every day seems to bring more bad news. I feel like we are headed to something ominous. I worry about the absolute evil that men are capable of. I still won’t let fear stop me from traveling.

Health:

3 big worrying fears salmon plate
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We eat a lot of fish for our health 🙂

I thank God daily for our fairly good health. I have the trifecta of ill health, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes and borderline High Cholesterol. I take the usual precautions, some exercise and my prescribed medication. I also eat oats and grains for breakfast to keep the cholesterol down. I could be better, but once again, l choose my poison 🙂 . We have all heard so many stories of people putting off living their lives till retirement only to drop dead when the time comes. I worry about developing some horrible, incurable disease that will prevent me from further travel. This is not as big a fear as the top two, but it’s still there.

What l really find amazing is that l would have pictured myself being worried about fluff stuff. Some of my friends worry about getting older (bring it on l say!), gray hair (bah! I didn’t even color mine in Nigeria even though it would have cost less than $3 🙂 ) or losing weight (really!). I guess we all need to pick our poison. I choose wonderful food and a little extra padding 🙂 😉 🙂 .

Despite all this, I don’t want you reading this and thinking that l am depressed or morbid 🙂 . No, I am not. I just think that while we are celebrating the holidays, we should keep in mind the rest of the world where there is much sadness instead of happiness. Tears of pain instead of tears of joy. Death instead of Life.

Happy Holidays to everyone! We hope you all have a wonderful and loving one.  We are still a bit tired from the recent travel and haven’t gone to Seville to see the Christmas decorations like we did last year. We thank you for being loyal readers of the blog. The next post will be a roundup of our year and our hopeful travel plans for next year. Tonight, we will watch one of our favorite holiday movies and have some Bailey’s 🙂 .

What are some of the fears that keep you up at night?

32 thoughts on “3 Big Worrying Fears That Make Me Restless”

  1. That’s not a Christmas topic indeed! But death, health and peace are something we should always think and talk about… we can’t do anything with people passing away but we can take care of ourselves more and do something to make this world a better place.

    Reply
    • Very well put Patryk, especially the part about talking about it. I am usually hesitant to do so, but l am slowly changing that. I truly hope we can make the world a better place. The future generations depend on it. Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
  2. I think you’ve nailed the big three for me as well KemKem, although I’d place health at the top of our list. There’s the old adage, “if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything” and as we get older it becomes more and more important. Like you, the death of two close friends followed by my brother’s made me step back and reexamine my priorities and choose early retirement also. Life is too short and enjoying it fully, meeting awesome people like you and Fere as well as finding stellar moments has moved to the top of my priorities. We can’t do anything about death but I’m saying a prayer to whatever god there is every day for peace … Wishing you a fantastic 2017 and hoping you continue to explore the world with passion! Anita PS Your photo of the Hagia Sophia is amazing. 🙂

    Reply
    • Life really is too short. We should take full advantage of it and l am glad to see more people doing this. It really opens your eyes and makes you more sensitive to the happenings of the world. Death really hits you hard and the healing takes a very long time. It has been wonderful getting to know you guys. I also pray for peace. I find it so sad the legacy we are leaving for the future generations. So far, it just seems like chaos, poverty and famine. 🙁 . I wish you a wonderful 2017 too, I really hope it’s a better one for all of us.

      Reply
  3. All of the above resonate with me. Also as a mother I fear for my children and their future, but with all the evils of the world I firmly believe most people are good and good will prevail. Health and death are a big worry, I work for the NHS and deal with it every working day, but all we can do is look after our health and wellbeing the best we can. Our genes and the environment around us can conspire against us, but there is still a lot we can do to give ourselves the best possible chance of staying healthy. I hope 2017 will bring you health, love and many exciting adventures

    Reply
    • I always think about the example we are setting for future generations, and even though l have no kids, l have so many nephews and such that it still bothers me to an extent. I do believe most people are good as well. It just seems that we hear so much about evil and they make too much of a dent in the nature of things that it seems we are swimming against the tide. I have to say l don’t miss the old days of dealing with sickness on a daily basis. I empathize with you as l know how hard it is. Yes, it has become much easier to stay healthy. My mom’s trifecta among other illnesses and she is 90 and counting. I wish you and the family a fantastic 2017 🙂 .

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  4. Yes, I think such thoughts everyone is carrying and it is important to be aware of these things with a realistic view (if possible). In the end – thats my opinion – you should always make the best out of your very own situation. Yes, the world changed, bad things happen and it doesnt really seem to change very soon. But you shouldnt let this affect too much on you. Instead always focus on what you can change and influence to have a good and peaceful life. Things you cannot influence…let them go and dont worry too much. Have a fantastic new year 2017 and make the best of everything 🙂

    Reply
    • I don’t feel so alone now. I was starting too think too hard 😉 . I do try to make the best of bad situations and you’re right, we can only control some things. We have to do the best we can. The world definitely has changed, and unfortunately not for the better. I think l think about it a lot more after some trips like our most recent ones to Bangkok and Nigeria. Seeing the disparity between the rich and the poor always makes everything magnified. I hope you have an amazing 2017 and thank you so much for the words of wisdom and the comment 🙂 .

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  5. I’m sorry to hear about your loss, It’s hard for me to imagine what how I will handle the day when one of my parents or sibling passes away. You are a strong women.

    The state of the world is also a fear of mine, a big fear. It seems like things have been really crazy this year, and I too feel that feeling, that something ominous is on the rise. I pray that it not the case.
    you are so right, we should keep the rest of the world the world in mind where there is much sadness instead of happiness. We often just go about our day, taking everything for granted and complaining about very silly things in retrospect.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much for the kind words. I think humans are capable of incredible strength, more than we can ever imagine. All we can hope is that the world becomes a better place, good conquers evil and we can leave it a better place for future generations. I doubt it, but l keep hoping. It’s just amazing that we never learn from past mistakes. A lot of times, especially holiday times, we tend to forget the rest of the world. Yep..silly things when you think about the grand scheme. Thanks for the comment and l hope you have a wonderful holiday season.

      Reply
  6. Your post is very moving. I have my own fears and I can totally relate to the world peace part. Particularly after having brought a new life in this world, I always fear if I will be able to provide her a safe and secure life, a happy life in this world full of so much hatred and turbulence. Also, I fear loosing dear ones. Because of these reasons, I am learning to live in the moment as much as possible

    Reply
    • Congratulations on the birth 🙂 . I’m sure you must be especially concerned as to what lies ahead. It’s sad that in just a few years, at least from my generation, so much has changed for the worse. A safe and secure life should be expected, almost taken for granted. I am amazed at the capacity of people to hate so much. I agree we should live in the moment and not take anything for granted. Thank you so much for adding your voice to the discussion. Your daughter is very lucky 🙂

      Reply
  7. The scariest thing to me is #3 which is that Spanky or I get seriously sick and have to change our lifestyles. I don’t know what we’d do. Of the 3 it’s also the one that each of us has the most control over so it’s why we true to maintain a healthy lifestyle (well, most of the time).

    Frank (bbqboy)

    Reply
    • Yes, health is pretty scary. It certainly can derail any carefully laid out plans. Haha! Yes, most of the time, we try to eat healthy. I’ve dropped about 21 pounds since we left the U.S. I think it’s the fresh food..but l do like indulging from time to time, skipping the liquid calories in favor of food 🙂 . Hope you guys had a lovely Christmas!

      Reply
  8. Joy and peace to you. I am concerned about the state of how we all get along. Sometimes I think people just WANT dissension. They flock to people who create it. Why? Don’t get it. I’d like to travel extensively with my kids, but just today my hubby and I were looking at our big school map on the wall and I said, “What about here?” “Okay. What about here?” “Or here?” And then he’d proceed to tell me what was happening there, about like you did above. You Debbie Downers. 🙂 —-Terri

    Reply
    • Happy Holidays Terri! I think you’re right. It seems that yes, people want dissension. Perhaps a result of the constant media coverage and their 15 seconds of fame (no longer 15 minutes as there is so much competition). Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but l find this all so sad and worrying. It’s almost impossible to point anywhere on the map and say..oh yeah, this would be a great place. How things have changed since we were growing up. Certainly not for the better unfortunately. We can’t let it stop us though, so start packing 😉 .

      Reply
  9. What a good article! I’m happy I read it today though as it made me really sad indeed. I have your fears as well and it was relatively recently when I realized that I am starting to have worries related to the first problem you listed a bit too often, even though I’m only in my early 30s. I’ve had my fair share of problems and I am still not in perfect health so, yeah… we have reasons to worry (but probably not as much as I do though – been dealing with anxiety and stress for a long time, so yeah…)

    The World situation is what also worries me a lot and apart from a small fear of a big war coming (which I hope leaders are smart enough to never consider), I worry about the things you mentioned: hate is starting to slowly take over the world, probably because it was so good for such a long time and people started to forget the disaster hate leaves behind. Extremist parties are getting more and more popular in Europe too, we hear about fake news more and more and they do have the power to influence people… it’s not all that nice in the world indeed.

    But there are still so many beautiful things happening out there and so many things to be positive about: that’s what I keep telling myself each day and, even though it might be similar to your refusal to pick up the phone, I started filtering the information I get: I am using Facebook to a minimum right now, not watching TV for a while now, not checking out the news and instead reading great blogs like yours, things that I like, positive news websites… and things get better.

    Reply
    • Thanks C. I’m glad you didn’t read it on the holiday 😉 since it would have made you sad. I was kind of wondering if l should publish it or not because l thought it might just be me, then l decided since the blog was a reflection of me and thoughts etc, it might be worth sharing my fears in case others were feeling the same. I kept seeing so much greed and selfishness with the commercialization of the holiday. I know it’s a special time but l think people forget (especially in first world countries) about the rest of the world. Fighting to get that last Nintendo game for your kid is not that crucial in the grand picture when there are so many less fortunate people. I too hope our “leaders” will realize that the world needs peace despite the big gains to be made from selling weapons. Everywhere is becoming a hot spot of hate and violence.
      I think l will take your advice and cut back on Facebook and other depressing news channels. We have only been watching movies in the evening lately as l get tired of depressing events. I really need to stay off yahoo news 🙂 . That seems to be my biggest weakness. Thanks so much for including this blog in your list of reads 🙂 . Yeah..doses of good news will be welcome more from now on 🙂 😉 :-).

      Reply
  10. I really enjoy the mix of sheer honesty & lighthearted fun in your blog g, thank you!
    Your worries are similar to mine- in my teens & 20’s I never worried for one moment about illness etc, even though my dad died (young too ! At 60), I was about 15 and devastated but it passed. As I’ve become older I’m more aware of the gift of life, good health, loved ones & it’s something I think we all relate to.
    The best way to handle it is take care of yourself, have fun, travel, spend time with loved ones & find joy & laughter whenever you can.
    I try not to read the news daily – I gain nothing from the cycle of bad news so why bother?;-)

    Reply
    • Thank you for reading and enjoying the blog Lili. It means a lot. The loss of loved ones really take a lot out of you, but you’re right, you eventually get to the point where you can deal with it no matter how long it takes. It must have been very hard at 15 though. We all have to value life more. The worries sort of creep up on you doesn’t it? I remember thinking 50 was so freaking old! ;-). I like your “prescription”. We both spent time with loved ones this year, in Rome and Nigeria and it was fantastic, we want to step it up next year :-). Like l wrote in response to C. I am going to cut back on daily news, just too depressing ;-). Thanks again Missy and Happy Holidays!

      Reply
  11. Being wuite young, death and health aren’t two things I often think about. World peace however is – I mean it’s kind of impossible not to considering the new we are confronted with every day….

    Reply
    • Thank goodness, you’re much too young to think of those two :-). It does seem like we are confronted with more bad news every day aren’t we? Let’s keep hoping it gets better. Thanks for the comment.

      Reply
  12. Your post resonated with me. I lost both of my parents five years apart, both at age 63. While I don’t fear death, it made me realize how fragile life can be and how important it is to live life to the fullest. Despite all the negative news and terrorist events around the globe, I still feel inspired to travel. Good will always prevail over evil.

    Reply
    • I’m with you. I too believe that good will triumph over evil! I just wish it wasn’t taking so long 🙂 . I am so sorry for your losses. It must have been extremely hard. You wonder why and it is really hard to accept it. It really does make you realize just how fragile life is and how we have to make the best of it. Thanks so much for adding your voice to the discussion. Happy 2017! 🙂

      Reply
    • I also had a fear of plane rides that developed about a year ago all of a sudden, not sure what caused it. I “willed” it away. I do believe the loss has made me bolder, stronger and more determined. I hope your fear of planes trips gets less and less :-). It’s hard giving up control, isn’t it?

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  13. I think these are perfectly normal fears that we all have. I have anxiety – which I have somewhat learned to manage through traveling. I do however share the same fears. My health and death are the biggest ones – not knowing when or how much time I have left drives me crazy some days but then inspires to keep living.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much for adding your voice. It feels better knowing others think about these things as well. You’re right though, the fear inspires us to keep living, and living l shall. I’m glad you are able to manage your anxiety. Have a wonderful 2017! 🙂

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  14. I’ve been ill since I was two, born with incurable anaemia..I thank God for reaching my 40’s because it was not expected..I actually had a near death experience in my 20s and coming out of that to live decades more, isn’t something I take for granted. I don’t think of death much, I pray and look forward to the return of Christ to rapture me out of this world…plus I have a little one and that gives me purpose and reason to embrace life. I love veggies and fruits, try as much to keep on a healthy diet, and even if I eat fries and a burger, I try to have coleslow plus fresh fruit juice on the side..haha.
    My travel bucket lists include regions like the Middle East, fearlessly, I ticked off Mogadishu in 2015 but would love to see more of Somalia.
    Just today, I had a big smile on my face, after mapping out where I will go to 2017, hope to cover more territories this year…my biggest fear I guess is being broke and unable to travel. My head is in the clouds you see…(smile).

    Reply
    • Wow! You are a strong woman. One of my nieces has the same thing and l am so thankful that she has lived to be 30. I hope both of you and everyone else live full lives :-). Your little girl is very lucky and l love the fact that she is a well traveled young lady at such a young age. Since we’ve been in Spain, I have found myself loving fruits and vegetables more. They are so fresh and incredibly l have lost weight since we left the U.S. I remember your post on Mogadishu and l was apprehensive for you. Truthfully, l am not that brave :-). It’s good to have your head in the clouds!

      Reply

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